I am, by my nature, a workaholic. I get it from my dad I think. Until Sunday I had never called in to work. I would work 90 hours a week if I could. Ask me to do something and somehow, I'll get it done. I absolutely cannot say no to someone (that part comes from my mom).
A change in my work schedule has been having me work crazy hours. And when I say crazy I mean thisshouldbefuckingillegal. I am constantly running from school to work to volunteering back to work and grabbing a few hours of sleep when I can. Running on caffeine and nervous breakdowns, I stepped back to evaluate my life.
I thought about how life will be when I go to med school. No sleep, constant studying, living on coffee, stressful rotations, no free time. Then I thought, okay maybe residency will be better. 80 hour work weeks, shit for pay, no sleep, no free time. Okay certainly if I'm going to spend $200,000 being a doctor, which is what I've always wanted to do, that will be better. The money is better, but pediatric orthopedic surgeons are on call all the time and knowing myself, it would be more of the same. No sleep, no free time, 80 hour work weeks. Then what? I'm 70 years old and I haven't had any time to LIVE.
So welcome to the biggest and most important nervous breakdown of my life:
"OH MY GOD! I CAN'T SPEND THE NEXT 50 YEARS LIKE THIS!!"
I started thinking about what would matter most to me if I could have it all. I still have a passion for the human body and health and this will always be interesting to me. I also really want to have a family. I always wanted this, but in the back of my head I knew it would mean choosing between this and my medical career. I want to make a difference. I want to teach people. I want to see the look of enlightenment of people's faces when they realize how powerful their body is. I want to be proud of something. Most of all, I want to have free time, and do the things I love. I want to travel and see what the rest of the world has to offer.
Another thing that concerned me was the way that modern doctors practice. I've been battling a serious cold for the past week so today I went to the doctor. A nurse took down my information, and about 30 minutes later the doctor came in. He listened to my breathing, looked down my throat, announced that I had bronchitis, wrote a prescription for an antibiotic and sent me on my way. I saw him for about 45 seconds. Great. Except that bronchitis is caused by inflammation in the lungs usually following a VIRAL infection like a cold or the flu. NOT a bacterial infection. Antibiotics treat bacterial infections. Google treatments for bronchitis and pretty much every page will tell you not to take antibiotics. Use of antibiotics when they aren't necessary causes resistant strains of bacteria to emerge so when people to get bacterial infections, it is harder for them to be treated. Way to go, doc.
So after considering my options and what is important to me, I did what every good premed student does and went panicking to my advisor:
"Soooo, I don't think I want to be a doctor anymore."
"Uhhh what?!"
Like I said, my advisor is very supportive and knows the struggles that I've had to deal with and still encourages me all the time and ensures me that I am a competitive candidate for med school. He told me to calm down and told me about some other option I may not have known about or considered.
After a lot of research and consideration, I decided on Naturopathic Medicine. It is a natural, whole body approach to medicine. It focuses on natural remedies, using diet and lifestyle changes to help heal the body. When this option was explained to me, I was so excited I couldn't even sit still. I have a new plan now, involving this, my passion for cooking, and my passion to open the eyes of others. Here are some links to check out if you haven't heard of naturopatic medicine or if you'd like to learn more. The first is just an overview. The second is to the school I would like to go to :)
http://www.naturopathic.org/index.asp
http://www.bastyr.edu/
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